We've all heard of self-love, and how important it is...

But have you ever heard of self-lust?

If you've ever felt lovable, but not "fuckable," then you are probably solid on self-love and lacking in self-lust, which is simply being aware of the unique combination of physical, energetic, intellectual, and spiritual attractiveness that makes you sexually magnetic and attractive to other people.

It is important to me that you understand you are attractive in a very particular and unique way, because when that fully sinks in, you won't be as threatened by the ways in which other people are attractive.

No one -- I repeat, NO ONE -- can exude your sexual aliveness, energy, and magnetism as well as you do. It's yours. Only yours. Untouchable.

I want to share a story with you that illustrates this concept.

During lunch one day at a women's retreat, someone at my table was talking about a man back home that she had an intense attraction toward -- someone who she had not slept with yet, and wasn't planning to (for a while, anyway), because the sexual tension between them was so fun and delicious.

We all wanted to know what he was like and bombarded her with questions. 

Then someone asked, "Is he super handsome?"

She paused.

The pause was long enough that we knew the answer was "no," but there was clearly more to her response that she needed to formulate before saying anything.

Then she said, "He's not physically attractive in a conventional way, no. But his energy is irresistible. He has this undeniable charisma and magnetism. Pretty much every woman that knows him wants to have sex with him. The other men don't understand it at all, because they just see what he looks like and they don't get it. They wonder, what IS it about that guy...?"

I love this story so much. I think about it a LOT.

It reminds me that our sex appeal comes from a place that is so much deeper than the surface-level beauty of our faces and bodies. 

To be honest, if I had a choice between being the type of sexy that conforms perfectly to societal standards but lacked energetic intrigue, and the type of sexy that draws people to me without them even knowing why, I would choose the latter.

What a super power, to be the woman who so many men want to be with, without ever having to change anything about my own body....

...to have the kind of charisma and confidence that I could be put into any shape or size of body and be able to leverage all my most captivating assets to become a powerfully magnetic person in any room.  

Sometimes I think of my body as a quirky outfit: "Not everyone can pull off this look, but I can. And I'm going to rock it so hard that other people are going to want it for themselves."  

Your unique sex appeal is so much more powerful than a particular combination of physical features. It is the magnetic energy that attracts attractive people to you, captivates their attention, and makes hot and meaningful connections with the right people last way beyond a hookup or two. 

It's kind of a super power...

And like any super power, it takes a bit of time to admit you have this special capability, to learn how to use it, and to master it over time.

And when you do, perhaps someday someone will tell stories about how uniquely, irresistibly hot you are to a bunch of friends over lunch 😉


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