Some Tips For the Receiver
Introduction to Receiving the Yoni Massage
If you are the one receiving the yoni/pussy massage, your only job in this experience is to feel.
Just feel... feel... feel... and keep dropping into your body any time you notice your mind is focused on anything other than the sensation of the massage.
One of the challenges women can face when receiving this massage is self-judgment:
"I'm not feeling enough..."
"I'm not orgasmic enough..."
"I'm too orgasmic, I'm feeling too much right now..."
If you catch yourself in these thoughts patterns, try to remind yourself that your experience, whatever it may be, is perfect. Whatever is happening is exactly what needs to be happening. Your body is perfect. Whatever you are feeling is perfect. Your sensations are perfect.
The pussy massage can work its magic best when received in a spirit of self love and acceptance.
And remember: you do not need to reach orgasm during this practice in order for it to help you become more orgasmic. You are learning to be more present to your sensations, to your pleasure, more alive in your body, and that will inevitably translate to an expanded capacity for orgasm over time.
Some Tips For the Giver
Introduction to Giving a Yoni Massage
This can be such a life-changing experience and I really celebrate that you are learning to do this for your partner.
Here are some notes for whoever is giving the pussy massage:
- Slowness is key. Slow and steady strokes are almost always a winner. The ideal pace is usually even slower than you might think - so don't worry about going too slow.
- Tune into your partner receiving the massage. Feel her body, pay attention to the sensation of her vulva lips on your fingertips. Be totally present with your hands, and with your strokes. She'll be able to feel the level of your presence, consciousness, and awareness with her. If you start to zone out and think about other things, she'll probably feel your disconnection, however subtle it may be. And if she can feel that you're distracted, it is likely to take her out of the experience as well.
- Ask before the penetration part of the massage. There will be a point in the audio guidance where you may penetrate her with your fingers to provide massage to her vaginal walls, or you may not. One of the things that is so important to learn about pussy massage is to NEVER expect that you can just insert your fingers inside of her. Sometimes she may not be in the mood, or her body won't be a "yes" to penetration. One of the most healing gifts you can offer a woman is that choice. Many women have been penetrated too often, too early. Giving her the option to continue receiving the massage around her vulva without penetration can be so healing, beautiful, and enriching. It can also help her feel safe to own her YES to penetration more readily, because she knows that her NO will be honored.
- Remember that orgasm is not required to experience an incredible pussy massage. The beauty of pussy massage is allowing her to feel her pleasure and whatever experience she needs to have. Sometimes that might be seven orgasms in a row, and sometimes it might not be feeling much at all. It's normal for there to be big cathartic emotions, and it's normal if there aren't. Your role is to hold strong, loving, accepting space for her to freely express whatever she needs to. If she starts crying or seems upset and you don't know what to do, just ask if she'd like you to keep going, if she wants to pause, or if she wants something else (e.g., to be held)
- Let the massage be organic. If the receiver seems to be really enjoying a particular stroke or touch, you can always spend more time there (just pause the audio until you're ready to continue)
- Don't take it personally if she doesn't orgasm or have a big cathartic emotional release. Your only job is to maintain loving acceptance toward whatever she does or does not experience, and if you do that, you're doing it right!