"I didn’t want anyone to see my small boobs or their natural form because I didn’t like them—so how could anyone else?
Exactly.
This was just another reminder for myself that I really had to do this. I had to learn to love my boobs because they are actually perfect—and they deserve it."
Janine Friedrich, "How to Love Your Small Boobs the Way They Deserve"
You get to decide how you feel about your body and its different parts
You can't stop other people from feeling how they'll feel about your body and having their own opinions and preferences...
...and I know that shrugging off the opinions of others IS TOUGH and I don't know anyone who has become 100% immune to it all the time.
However, you are not obligated to agree with "popular opinion" about what's hot, what's not, what's cute, what's sexy -- you get to decide for yourself, and then enjoy what you decide to enjoy!
What all men are attracted to...
I grew up thinking that literally NO MEN preferred small breasts over larger ones. And in a weird way, I didn't feel ALLOWED to like my breasts the way they were... if I commented about them, it was always in a self-deprecating or apologetic way. I didn't see anyone else modeling the mindset of loving small boobs so I basically didn't know that was an option...
I have now met a few of the men who do actually prefer small breasts (and it helps, for sure) but my perspective REALLY started to shift when I noticed that *I* love the aesthetic of small breasts and find a BUNCH of women with that body type incredibly attractive.
(And I find a lot of other body types attractive too, cuz duh... it's less about the shape and more about how the person within makes that shape the hottest damn thing)
And I'm not thinking to myself, "wow she's so attractive... and she'd be even HOTTER if she had bigger tits."
The woman-and-her-body-whole-person-package is just perfect exactly as she is.
AND IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I THINK ABOUT THEM ANYWAY
The whole point is that none of us has to take on the opinions of others about how our bodies should look, or what a "good" vulva looks like, what "good" legs look like, what "good" breasts look like, what a "good" stomach or waistline looks like, etc.
In fact, we often assume we know what that means when we hear someone talking about it. When you hear "she had great legs," what comes to mind? Long and skinny with a thigh gap? Is that YOUR idea of great legs, or do you tend to appreciate a thicker or more muscular look?
When you hear these things, don't assume you know exactly what that person means, because then you'll just project your own fears and insecurities onto them, and that's not fair to either of you.
Either remind yourself that other people's preferences have little to do with you, or focus on your own opinions. Your desires and preferences are just as valid as everyone else's.
Don't let some other person (or your projections of that person) define for you what's desirable.
Just because other people care doesn't mean you have to
We are free to care as much or as little about these things as we want to.
Let other people care. You can't stop them anyway. Let them have their preferences and opinions.
And then decide what YOU really think. Decide how YOU are going to feel about your body. Decide how much mental energy and heart space you're willing to give to processing other people's opinions about bodies... because you DO HAVE A CHOICE.
Conditioning is real, social pressure is real, and we have legitimate reasons why we feel so disappointed, ashamed, disgusted, judgmental, and critical toward our bodies.
And also...
We still have the power to liberate ourselves from all that. Always have, always will.
I know this is true because I am seeing more and more people of ALLLL shapes and sizes declaring how f*cking amazing they feel in and about their bodies.
It's not about your specific physical features -- it's about the love and acceptance you cultivate toward yourself.
It's about enjoying your own body on your own terms, not waiting to look some other way before you let yourself feel how you want to feel in your own skin.
If you feel stuck around this - like this all sounds well and good for other people but there's no way YOU can learn to enjoy your own natural body - schedule a call with me. It would be my pleasure to help you work through this 