What is Sex Magic?
In short, Sex Magic is a manifestation practice involving the following five steps:
- Decide what experience you want to manifest
- Make sure your desire aligns with your notion of the Highest Good, and then consecrate the practice to that Highest Good (e.g. Truth and Love, Divine Consciousness, Wisdom, Spiritual Liberation, The Universe, God, etc.)
- Imagine a vivid experience of having your desire, involving all 5 senses (what do you feel, touch, see, hear, smell, taste when you experience this desired reality?)
- Build pleasure and sexual energy in your body, while using connected breathing to circulate that energy between your root chakra and each of the other 6 chakras
- When the energy reaches your crown chakra, hold the vision of your desired reality in mind, as you send your intention out to the universe through the top of your head, and feel the blessings of Highest Good integrating through every chakra down your body back to the root
You'll have a chance to get the full step-by-step audio guide for free at the end of the post, but for now, here's a PDF that sums up the basic components of the practice and outlines the names and locations of each of the seven chakras.
Why Try Sex Magic?
Sex Magic, when practiced consistently, can be incredibly transformative, whether you buy into the "magic" part or not.
Bare Minimum Benefits
- You will become more clear about what you really want by taking time to vividly imagine what it would be like to have a lived, 5-senses experience of your desired reality
- You will quickly realize if you have any major internal conflicts around that desire, by asking yourself if it aligns with your idea of Highest Good
- You will be giving yourself lots of self-pleasure, which has all kinds of amazing health benefits in and of itself, and by definition, feels really good!
Potential Game-Changing, Mind-Blowing, World-Rocking Benefits
- You'll harness and channel your sexual energy to become a high-vibration electromagnetic match for whatever you want in life
- You'll develop an embodied understanding that your sexuality -- your life force and your ecstasy -- is a bridge between your organic, finite human experience and the boundless, infinite potentiality of Source / The Universe / Divine Consciousness / God / etc.
How Sex Magic Works
There have not been (to my knowledge) any randomized controlled studies on Sex Magic providing evidence that Sex Magic is effective. There is not any known formula outlining how consistently it needs to be practiced in order to yield results, or how long it generally takes before the thing you desire becomes manifest in your life. None of that has been formally studied.
What we DO have is anecdotal evidence, such as the Sex Magic Success Story included in this post.
So as you read on, be aware that these are theories about how and why Sex Magic could work and has worked for people. While I personally believe that it works, I would never make any guarantees or impose those beliefs on anyone else.
Perhaps someday there will be more scientific research and long-term studies on the effects of different manifestation methods. (The clinical researcher in me would gobble that shit UP, and the mystic in me is hoping no one ever actually tries to quantify the efficacy of manifestation.)
For now, I'm hoping that the following theories can help us all wrap out heads around how channeling our sexual energy for manifestation might actually work, and inspire you to try it out for yourself.
Sex Magic improves communication & alignment between different parts of the brain
Sex Magic affects the brain in 3 different ways:
- Breath Work: Using connected breathing (no pause between inhales and exhales) increases the oxygen in your body and activates the primal / limbic system. Thinking about your goal (using your cerebral cortex) with your primal brain ALSO activated, will soothe any primal, survival-level fears that you carry in association with your goal as you experience embodied pleasure throughout the practice. In other words, you activate the primal brain so that you can soothe it while you consciously envision your goal or desire.
- Ritual: Any ritual - sex magic or otherwise - communicates with the primal brain and limbic system through pre-lingual experiences. It is not about using words to creative a rational narrative; it's about having an experience of a desired reality through your imagination and opening yourself to felt, embodied energies.
- Chakra Activation: Each of the chakras in the 7-chakra system -- root, sacrum, solar plexus, heart, throat, 3rd eye, and crown -- correspond to different parts of the brain. So as you move energy through each chakra, you are also creating deep alignment throughout your brain around having what you desire.
Sex Magic uses visualization to shift your subconscious identity
The brain is really bad at being able to distinguish thought from reality. That's why, when you have thoughts about failing a test, or a loved one dying, or getting married to the love of your life, you will actually feel the emotions of anxiety, sadness, and joy (respectively) in your body.
Consider also what happens in our bodies when we think about something that turns us on sexually -- doesn't your body respond, physiologically? The mind is powerful! Beyond a doubt, your thoughts affect your body at a minimum, and they potentially affect your physical reality on a much wider scale as well.
The mind's ability to influence the body even contributes to motor skill building. In the book The Mind and the Brain: Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force, there are several examples of people using mental practice (ie. their imagination) to restore lost motor skills, practice complex piano pieces, and create other incredible results.
This works because what you experience in your imagination is registered by your brain the same way as something occurring in the "real world."
So, when you visualize yourself having something you want during Sex Magic, your mind starts to see you as the type of person who actually has that thing. And over time, your subconscious will get to work making that imagined experience your actual reality.
According to the book Psychocybernetics, your subconscious is a powerful creative mechanism that is always working to bridge the gap between your identity and your reality. Here's how it works:
- You consciously imagine yourself experiencing the thing you desire (e.g. getting married to the love of your life)
- Your brain registers that experience as, "Oh, I guess I'm the type of person who gets married to the love of my life," and begins to incorporate that into your subconscious identity
- Your subconscious mind gets to work giving you insights, creative impulses, and intuitive sparks that help you become that person and magnetize that love into your life (because the subconscious is always at work getting our experiences to mirror our self-image)
One thing to note, of course, is that if you also have lots of thoughts that you are a relationship screw-up, that you don't deserve love, that it's never going to happen for you, that there's no good ones left out there, that no one wants to commit or have something meaningful, etc., those will be processed by your brain and subconscious in the same pattern.
So you might do Sex Magic regularly for an entire year, but if you're telling yourself in between practices that you suck and you feel unworthy of love and you aren't doing anything to improve your embodied sense of worthiness to thrive in life and love, then your subconscious is going to be getting all kinds of mixed messages about who you actually are, and not know what direction to steer you in.
I don't mean to put pressure on you to be sunny-positive-Polyanna about yourself 24/7. That's not the thing here.
The art of it, from what I can tell, is allowing yourself to feel worthy and ready for the things you desire even if you also feel like a lazy POS, a total mess, a deeply insecure person, an ugly person, a burden, a fuck-up, etc.
Or, you could lean into those feelings in a different way. You can learn to "get off" on all that shadowy self-criticism also, so that even your repeating patterns of toxic relationships and money scarcity can become desire fulfillment in a cosmically kinky way.
In fact, Carolyn Elliott, PhD has written an entire (brilliant) book , Existential Kink, teaching you exactly how to do this! And this leads us to the next theory...
Sex Magic associates your desire with pleasure and aliveness
We all have two kinds of desires:
- "Light and Love" desires: The ones we're proud of, the ones that elevate us into becoming higher beings, the ones motivated by love, kindness, and abundance for ourselves and others
- "Shadow" desires: The ones that gross us out. The ones that we feel ashamed of, like sexual attraction to totally inappropriate people, wanting your friend's business to fail, craving unrequited love because then we can feel the all the delicious romantic feelings without risking our freedom, or hoping that something tragic happens to us so we can write a book about it and get famous.
One of my take-aways from Existential Kink was if we find ourselves in repeating patterns of things we consciously DO NOT WANT, it may indicate that a part of us "gets off" on that thing. For example, a part of us may take a kinky pleasure in the grind of being a struggling entrepreneur, the grit and creativity of getting by on less money than other people, the thrills of dating unavailable people, the challenge of proving our worthiness, value, and attractiveness to other people over and over again...
If you pay attention, you may notice that these "unhealthy" or "toxic" patterns and identities actually generate more intense sensations of excitement and aliveness in your body...
...especially when you compare them to what you feel when you think of actually having a secure relationship, financial stability, or true comfort in your own skin.
When you think about those healthy desires, you probably feel good and peaceful, perhaps a sense of relief.
But do they turn you on? Does your heart beat faster? Does your body buzz? Can you feel energy move? Does your heart or pussy tingle?
If not, it's time to ask yourself if that thing you say you want IS what you want, or if it's just the thing you feel comfortable or justified wanting... the responsible, admirable, ethical, or status-boosting next step.
Your subconscious will generally deliver the thing that turns you on -- even in a shadowy, kinky, self-sabotaging way -- so this is a very important question to be asking yourself.
In Sex Magic, you'll connect your heart's desire with your body's turn-on -- you literally "get off" on what you desire by giving yourself sexual pleasure while holding your desire in mind. If you are advanced, you'll even time your climax to happen as you send your intention out to the universe through your crown chakra, while imagining your 5-senses reality.
And all of this will contribute significantly to re-wiring your subconscious to associate these healthy desires and goals with embodied excitement, aliveness, and turn-on, so it doesn't get the order you're placing with the Universe kinkily twisted anymore 😉
Sex Magic changes your electromagnetic "signature"
In his book, Becoming Supernatural, Dr. Joe Dispenza introduces a powerful meditation called Tuning in to New Potentials, which uses a process very similar to Sex Magic to create an electro-magnetic field around the body.
It doesn't involve self-pleasure (sadly) or circulating energy through each chakra specifically, but it uses the breath to pull energy up through the body's central channel, from the root chakra to the crown chakra, and it uses two key elements of manifestation: (1) a vivid vision of your intention (see #2 on visualization), and (2) high vibration or elevated emotion, such as love, gratitude, inspiration, joy, excitement, awe or wonder (or turn-on).
Here's how Dr. Dispenza explains it:
Thoughts, which make up your intention, are the electrical charge you are sending out into the unified field. Now you have to combine that intention with an elevated emotion...you have to tap into the feeling you anticipated you will have when you manifest your intent, and then feel the emotion ahead of the experience. The elevated emotion (which carries a higher energy) is the magnetic charge you are sending out into the field.
When we marry an intention (the electric charge) with that energy (the magnetic charge), we create a new electromagnetic field. Since energy is frequency and all frequency carries information, it is that elevated energy that carries your thought or intention.
When there's a vibrational match between your energy and any potential that already exists in the unified field, you begin to draw that new experience to you.
If you were wondering if and when quantum physics would be involved in this Sex Magic discussion, the answer is yes and the time is now.
In The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter, & Miracles, Dr. Bruce Lipton, a biologist, dedicates an entire chapter to quantum physics. He echoes the quantum understanding of matter as energy, with every atom (and every collective group of atoms) radiating their own "electromagnetic signatures," as Dispenza would refer to it, or "unique energy signaure," according to Lipton:
Because each atom has its own specific energy signature (wobble), assemblies of atoms (molecules) collectively radiate their own identifying energy patterns. So every material structure in the universe, including you and me, radiates a unique energy signature.
Sex Magic is similar to this meditation, because it also combines an intention with elevated emotions (sex magic should always be done in states of positive emotion such as love, gratitude, peace, etc.). Therefore, it would leverage the same scientific principles related to generating an electromagnetic signature consistent with your desire.
Sex Magic stimulates the pineal gland and creates mystical experiences
A "side effect" (in quotes because I don't think it's accidental) of moving so much energy up into the brain is that the pineal gland in the center of the brain becomes stimulated. It secretes its metabolites into the brain, arousing the neocortex to go into higher brain-wave patterns that simultaneously relax the body and awaken the mind.
In Dispenza's words, the effect of this process is that "you're in bliss."
Three specific things happen simultaneously to make this experience possible:
 As you run a current up your spinal column by accelerating the movement of cerebrospinal fluid, your body becomes like a magnet and you create an electromagnetic field around it....  when the pineal gland is activated, a reverse torus field of electromagnetic energy is drawing energy into your body through the top of your head...  Since all frequency carries information, now your pineal gland is receiving information from beyond the visible light field and from beyond your senses.
When these three things occur in tandem, it's going to feel like you're having an orgasm in your head... you're getting information from the quantum field moving to another eye--your third eye--from the pineal gland in the back of your brain.
Want to know who else talks about the pineal gland? Diana Richardson, in her book, The Heart of Tantric Sex:
The secret of Tantra, and its prime interest, is that sexual energy is encouraged to be retained in the body... sexual energy is given the opportunity to circulate back to its source in the brain, so as to revitalize and nourish the "master" glands (pineal and pituitary) in the body. These glands have a profound influence on health... since ancient times sex has been associated with longevity and spiritual illumination.
...Accessing this second phase of our sexual energy, by allowing it to turn inward and upward, is the revelation of Tantra. It shows us that sex can be directed to create more life, not simply another life.
(Napoleon Hill, in his classic text, Think and Grow Rich, echoes this theory with an entire chapter dedicated to the transmutation of sexual energy into creative power.)
In time, a neglected energy pathway forges its way open in the core of the body, and we experience this from the genitals upward as a streaming electromagnetic current, a glorious golden light phenomenon.
There's that term again -- electromagnetic current -- being generated by bringing energy from the sex organs to the brain, and generating more life.
And what is desire fulfillment, if not more life?
The Role of "Divine Desire" in Manifestation
The main idea here -- and this is where things get the most "woo woo" -- is that all of existence is simply God / Divine Consciousness / Source / etc. differentiating itself in order to experience itself as tangible beings, and through tangible beings.
In other words, you are a unique branch of the Divine. Your desires are God's desires. You are energetically, quantum-physically connected to the infinitely wise and loving Source that has brought everything in existence from the field of pure potential into the physical universe.
Your longing to make music, to swim with dolphins, to experience the ecstasy of deep sexual surrender with a fabulous lover, to be pursued and adored, to eat at five star restaurants, to cure cancer, to build schools, to write a book...
... it's all God wanting to experience these things through you and begging you to get out of your own way so that it can happen!
Kabbalah: Fulfillment Precedes Desire
Kabbalah, a form of Jewish mysticism, teaches that the Light of the Creator (abundance, wisdom, beauty, love, everything are the core of our desires) existed first, and the organic world was created in order to be a vessel to receive and experience that Light.
In other words, the fulfillment of our desires precedes our desires.
Our most core longings are in us because they are possible. We simply do not long for things that cannot be fulfilled by the Creator.
Think about it: Do you want a blorpi-beppidoh? No, because it doesn't exist. (Not yet, anyway.). Perhaps someday someone will want one, but our desires arise when the universe can deliver them to us. I would have to be able to conceive of it -- which would indicate that it exists as a potential reality -- before I can desire it.
Your desires are shaped by what you know or believe, deep down, is possible. And this is why we -- living in the era of time and space that we do -- can desire and manifest things that people thousands of years ago simply wouldn't even think to. Because how could they?
Over time, as we combine existing ideas in new ways in our minds, we become able to manifest new types of experiences in the physical world.
Tantra: The Infinite Unfolding Expression of God experiencing God-Self
In nondual Śaiva Tantra (NST), "one thing along exists: the Divine, in various permutations... to experience this divinity in and as all things is the goal of the practice." (Tantra Illuminated, Christopher D. Wallis)
The Divine is both the Transcendent (non-physical, non-perceptible), called Śiva, and the Immanent (perceivable through the senses and the mind), called Śakti.
Śiva is Pure Consciousness: nonpersonal, utterly transcendent of all limitations or qualities, beyond the reach of senses, speech, and mind--in short, the singular Light of Awareness that makes possible all manifestation; the quiescent and peaceful ground of all there is.
Śakti...is the entire manifest universe.
The two different experiences of the Divine represented by Śiva and Śakti are the enstatic, in which we turn within, surrender everything, and reach the quiescent and transcendent ground of our being; and the ecstatic, in which we express our divine nature in creative, dynamic, outward-going, and embodied ways.
And these energies continue in an infinite cycle of life and death to create ever more differentiation and unique expressions of the Grand Divine Consciousness that the GDC can then experience throughout the physical universe.
Essentially, in the tantric view, God/ The Universe/ Source/ The Divine/ The Creator differentiated itself into two complementary energies -- Potentiality and Manifest, Light and Dark, the Light of Awareness and All Perceivable Experience to Be Aware OF -- in order to be able to experience itself (experience requires both an observer and something to be observed, after all).
This creation, a divine play, is the result of the natural impulse within Consciousness to express the totality of its self-knowledge in action, an impulse arising from love.
You are not separate from God/dess, the Divine, and never have been. Indeed, you are the very means by which She knows Herself.
All limited consciousness (e.g. you and me) are merely vantage points within one all-encompassing and unbroken field of awareness.
If we're all god, why doesn't it feel like that!? Why do we suffer and struggle?
Wallis says it's because we identify too much with our individual "vantage points" and we simply forget what we really are:
The unbounded Light Consciousness contracts into finite embodied loci of awareness [ie. humans] out of its own free will. When those finite subjects then identify with the limited and circumscribed cognitions and circumstances that make up this phase of their existence, instead of identifying with the trans-individual overarching pulsation of Pure Awareness that is their true nature, they experience what they call "suffering."
So, we are all tiny, fleeting, unique differentiated expressions of divinity. But we've forgotten this truth, and therefore we feel separate and lonely and afraid, and we grossly underestimate our own power.
But our desires help guide us back to this knowing.
Our desires are, basically, our Divine impulses manifesting through us, urging us to experience more life, more love, more pleasure, more connection, more beauty, more expansion -- and possibly sometimes more pain -- out of its own overarching desire for self-exploration.
We are individuated branches of Divine Consciousness, and whatever it wants, it wants through us, AS us, specifically, for the unique perspective on life we can offer the whole.
New Thought: Manifestation Theory from the early 1900s
There are a couple books emerging from the New Thought movement of the early 19th century that align surprisingly well with the Tantric perspective: one by Wallace D. Wattles (1860-1911), a student of New Thought, and one by Genevieve Behrend (1881-1960), a student of Mental Science (a New Thought discipline).
Here's how Wattles describes the divine origins of our deep desires in The Science of Getting Rich (1910):
The Intelligent Substance which is All, and which lives in All, and lives in you, is a consciously Living Substance... [with] the nature and inherent desire of every living intelligence for increase of life.
Every desire is the effort of an unexpressed possibility to come into action. It is power seeking to manifest which causes desire. That which causes you to want more money is the same as that which makes the plant grow; it is Life, seeking fuller expression.
God, the One Substance, is trying to live and do and enjoy things through humanity... God wants those who can play music to have pianos and every other instrument, and to have the means to cultivate their talents to the fullest extent; He wants those who can appreciate beauty to be able to surround themselves with beautiful things; He wants those who can discern truth to have every opportunity to travel and observe; He wats those who can appreciate dress to be beautifully clothed, and those who can appreciate good food to be luxuriously fed.
Wattles even echoes Step #2 from Sex Magic, the importance of aligning your desires with Highest Good:
It is essential, however, that your purpose should harmonize with the purpose that is in All.
Your Invisible Power (1921) by Genevieve Behrand explains the power of visualization through the same paradigm:
God, or Universal Mind, made man for the special purpose of differentiating Himself through him... The Great Architect of the Universe contemplated Himself as manifesting through His polar opposite, matter, and the idea expanded and projected itself until we have a world--many worlds.
The same power that brought universal substance into existence will bring your individual thought or mental picture into physical form. There is no difference of kind in the power. The only difference is a difference of scale... it is working in the same unfailing manner from its specific center, your mind.
Your personal advance in evolution depends upon your right use of the power of visualizing, and your use of it depends on whether you recognize that you, yourself, are a particular center through and in which the originating spirit is finding ever new expression for potentialities already existing within itself.
As you grow in the comprehension that your being, your individuality, is God particularizing Himself, you naturally develop Divine tendencies.
Have you noticed a common theme here yet??
Your longings are divine. And the reason you have them is because you can have them. Because they are from Divine Source, seeking more life through you, as you!
If you want it to happen...
...and it's aligned with Highest Good...
...because you are a branch of God with a direct connection to Source...
...then you have the power to make it happen...
...and it WILL happen...
...as long as you are clear and consistent about what it is that you want...
...and you can remember who you really are long enough to not give up before it arrives.
- Sex Magic creates alignment between different parts of your brain by activating your primal/limbic brain (with connected breath) while you visualize a desired future with your cortical brain
- Sex Magic raises the vibration of your energy field by moving breath and energy along a central channel in your body, passing through -- and being refined by -- each of the other chakras along the way
- Sex Magic has the potential to induce the secretion of metabolites from the pineal gland and generate "3rd eye orgasms" as frequencies from beyond the visible light field are received into your brain (for more on this, read Dispenza's book, Becoming Supernatural)
- Sex Magic focuses your mind on a clearly defined desire that you can feel good about, because it aligns with your idea of the "Highest Good"
- Sex Magic uses elements of manifestation emphasized in other manifestation texts, such as desire CLARITY, CONSISTENCY, VISUALIZATION, and generating lots of POSITIVE EMOTION associated with the desire
- Sex Magic is consistent with many other philosophies of manifestation, which center on the idea that our desires are essentially the desires of God, wanting to be revealed through us, and experienced through us. Divine Intelligence / Source / Consciousness will therefore provide us with whatever we desire, so long as we desire it with enough clarity, persistence, and gratitude to not give up on it before it arrives.
Sex Magic Success Story
Here's a story from one of my previous clients, Claire, about using Sex Magic to magnetize the partnership of her dreams:
I used Sex Magic following the break down of my ten year relationship to manifest love beyond my wildest dreams with an incredible man who shows up fully for me. 15 months on, we’re living our dream life together in Cyprus.
I remember a conversation with my coach Michelle 6 months after my break up where I admitted that I was actually terrified by the thought of ‘starting over’ in a relationship. She gently invited me to reframe that belief.
What if inviting a new relationship in wasn’t about starting over? What if a new man could meet you exactly where you are at now? How would it feel to hold the vision for that?
And so I did exactly that.
And through commitment to a daily Sex Magic practise, my desires became imprinted on all aspects of my being, as all parts of me became an energetic match for those desires.
Within weeks I met Mikey and all of me recognised him. I felt a deep sense of peace when we were together.
Sex Magic isn’t about casting spells with our orgasms (although it can sometimes feel like we are, it’s pretty damn magical). It’s an embodiment practise to become an energetic match for our desires on all levels (mind, body, soul). It is a portal to our desired reality and a delicious one at that.
Ready to Try Sex Magic??
Tantra Illuminated by Christopher Wallis
The Heart of Tantric Sex by Diana Richardson
Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott, PhD
The Mind and the Brain by Jeffrey M. Schwartz, MD and Sharon Begley
Psychocybernetics by Maxwell Maltz
Becoming Supernatural by Joe Dispenza, DC
The Biology of Belief by Bruce H. Lipton, PhD
The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles
Your Invisible Power by Genevieve Behrend