by Michelle Martinez

Sexual Worthiness: How Self Lust + Self Love Work Together

July 29, 2023 | Body Love, Relationships, Sacred Sexuality

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I have a potentially sensitive question for you:

Have you ever felt... for lack of a better word... unfuckable?

Like, "yeah I'm funny... Sure, I'm a great converstionalist... I'm smart and talented in certain ways...

...but I'm not physically SEXY."

In a culture that brainwashes us into thinking that our sexiness is synonymous with having very specific (and rarely-naturally-occurring) figures, and gives very little attention to all the other things that contribute to our attractiveness as human beings...

... it can sometimes be harder to believe that you are genuinely, uniquely sexually attractive -- that you are worthy of LUST -- than it is to believe you are worthy of love.

I posted a whole article about this concept of self-lust and how important it is for body image and feelings of sexual worthiness.

In the post, I share a few experiences I had that led me to a breakthrough moment where I finally, genuinely, blissfully fell in love with the part of my body that I've felt the most body shame and insecurity around -- my small breasts.

Since that breakthrough moment, it feels like the time I spend feeling sad / disappointed / judgey about my breasts (and my body in general, actually) has decreased by about 95%.

You can read that article here.

Annnnnd a couple months ago, one of the hosts of the Pleasure Positive podcast happened upon that article...

freakin' LOVED IT 🥰 ....

...and invited me to be a guest on their podcast!

This is a pretty big deal for me, as previous guests have included:

  • My own "Tantric approach to sex, love, & relationships" teacher, Layla Martin
  • "Pussy Priestess" Josefina Bashout
  • Melissa Fabello (a feminist writer I used to obsess over, back when she was writing for Everyday Feminism)
  • Rosie Rees, creator of the Yoni Pleasure Palace (and my first Yoni Egg teacher!)
  • Kim Anami, renowned vaginal weight-lifter and host of the Orgasmic Enlightenment (another teacher I learned yoni egg practices from!)
ANYWAY...My guest episode kicked off their 2023 season, and you can listen to it here on Apple Podcasts!

This is a really important topic to me, as so many people underestimate how sexy and attractive they can feel in their own bodies, no matter what they look like.

Because the thing is ... as you'll hear in the episode ... lasting sexual attraction is primarily an energetic phenomenon.  The visual component can enhance the energetic attraction, but visuals alone will never, and can never, equate to consistent sexual chemistry and magnetism on their own.

Listen to the episode for more 😉
About the author, Michelle Martinez


With degrees in Psychology and Public Health, and VITA-certification as a Sex, Love, and Relationship Coach, Female Sexuality Coach, and Tantric Sex Coach, Michelle is on a mission to help women re-establish loving, pleasurable, and powerful relationships with their bodies and sexuality through mindfulness, tantra, and cultural change.

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  • My brother suggested I might like this website. He was totally right. This post actually made my day. You cann’t imagine just how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

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