Tantra for Couples
Create More Authentic Emotional & Physical Satisfaction with Private Couples' Coaching
Partners who regularly practice tantra together may experience...
A heightened awareness of energy movement in their bodies
Recognition of divine presence in themselves and in their partners
Less routine or habitual sex, and more intuitively guided lovemaking
More expansive states of pleasure and orgasm
More open, honest, and compassionate communication leading to deeper intimacy
More sensitivity in the genitals
An awareness of orgasmic capacity throughout the body
A stronger focus on building deeper and longer-lasting pleasure, supported by more foreplay and slower sex, rather than seeking orgasm as the "goal" of sex
The capacity for sexual intimacy to be a container for personal expression, growth, and healing from sexual conditioning and past trauma
“Tantra is the religion of the body. Of course it goes higher, but it never leaves the body; it is grounded there.”
The best, most gratifying sex of your life is still in front of you. Take the next step...
What Makes Tantric Sex "Tantric"?
Contrary to what you may have heard, tantra is not about sex, specifically. It is a body of spiritual practices that existed on the Indian subcontinent from about 500AD to 1500AD, and several schools of tantra emerged in India, Tibet, China, and even Japan. Tantra is essentially an approach to viewing the world and human experiences, and because sexuality is a major aspect of our human experience, a tantric approach to sex is a significant shift from the way most of us have been raised to think about it.
Here's an outline to help explain how the philosophy of tantra informs the tantric approach to sex...
- Awakening to Your Essence: You are not defined or identified with the things you experience: you are not your sensations, your emotions, your thoughts, or your desires. You are the pure consciousness that experiences all those others things. Realizing this does not require years of isolated meditative practice available only to a select few; it can be realized in regular, everyday experiences, available to all.
- Liberation from Conditioning: Because your essence is consciousness itself, and not any of the thoughts or beliefs that you experience, you are not bound to them. You are not bound to the feeling of guilt when you experience sexual pleasure, or the pain of past trauma. We can become very attached to these familiar feelings; not everyone is willing to be free from their constrictions, and that's okay! But it takes energy to maintain falsehoods, those who are open to liberation will discover new stores of energy, freshness, and aliveness.
- Non-Dualism: There is consciousness/divinity in everything (that which exists, as well as the field of pure potential). This means that the body and the material world are no less divine than the mind and other immaterial forces. Our embodied human lives and all the pain and pleasure they contain are not meant to be transcended in order to achieve enlightenment; they are meant to be embraced and experienced as consciously as possible to help us realize the liberation.
- Mutual influence between sex and consciousness: Your sexual fantasies, your emotional state during masturbation, and your cultural conditioning all impact the quality of consciousness that you bring to sex with a partner, and the quality of your consciousness impacts how you experience sex.
- Sexual energy as fuel for spiritual awakening: Sexual energy is life force, and you can choose to repress it, scatter it aimlessly, or channel it intentionally into high-level states of energetic vibration and consciousness. Sexual energy and spiritual energy are basically the same, and can morph into one another in an endless loop.
- Sex as sacred: Because in tantra, everything is sacred, divine, conscious. Your desires, your pleasure, even your shadows and your shame, are sacred.
- Non-Performative: "Regular" sex tends to be focused on achieving orgasm as a goal, therefore measuring success by how well that goal is achieved for both partners (frequently leading to performance anxiety and faked orgasms). Tantric sex shifts the focus to the moment-to-moment unfolding of sensation and pleasure, allowing parters to be more embodied, impulsive, and free to follow the sexual energy wherever it takes them.
- Focus on energy, not ego: We often use sex (and our sexual partners) to mean something about our value, status, or skills as lovers. But this mentality limits us from having deeper experiences. When we allow sex to be guided by energies wiser than our egos, and ourselves to the flow of that energy within and between us, sex can take on a more primal, authentic, and deeply nourishing quality.
- Spiritual liberation through sex: So many of our deepest wounds and triggers are buried in layers of our sexuality. If we are willing to compassionately confront our sexual pains, fears, and judgments as they arise, sex becomes a sacred container for spiritual liberation.
It was really helpful to have the container [Michelle] provided; while we were both interested in learning about tantra, we wouldn't have created that space or structure on our own - it's really beneficial to be guided.
At the beginning, tantra still felt a little esoteric and we were a bit skeptical about what to expect.
I loved it. It blended elements from yoga, mindfulness, and visualization that I love and being able to share that experience with my partner was very special. It enabled more pleasurable and connected sensual / sexual experiences.
We LOVED the practices: the breath work, embodiment, dialogue exercises and communication tools helped us go deeper in our connection in unique and powerful ways, both sexually and in non-sexual (but intimate) ways.
If you want to connect more to your body, to your partner, experience greater pleasure and ease and up-level your sex life from being 'mechanical' to being magical, I would highly recommend working with Michelle!"
Meredith M. / USA
"Up-level your sex life from being 'mechanical' to being magical"
What to expect from your private coaching sessions
Now that you've familiarized yourself with what tantra and tantric sex are all about, let's get into the specific tools and practices you'll be learning during your coaching sessions!
Sensual massage -- which refers to massaging a partner's lingam (penis) or yoni (vulva & vagina) -- is a beautiful opportunity for one partner to dedicate intentional time to the relaxation, sexual healing, and expectation-free pleasure of his or her partner. It is NOT the same as typical "fingering" or a "hand job," and once you experience the quality of presence, connection, and pleasure from this practice, it is likely to become one of your most-requested date night activities!
Explore how to use all five senses to build presence and sexual anticipation through the 5-Senses Turn On practice. This session includes the following communication & intimacy practices:
- Breathwork for Lovers
Your whole body and nervous system has the capacity for pleasure, and it is possible to spread that sexually charged energy throughout your body. In this practice, one partner will give pleasure to the other partner, so the receiver can focus on enjoying and expanding the sensations of turn-on that make full-body orgasm possible. This session also includes 3 guided communication and intimacy practices:
- The Reveal
- Eye Gazing
- Sex/Love/Spirit Breath
In this practice, one partner will give pleasure while the other receives, which will allow the receiver to focus on relaxing deeply into his or her pleasure. You will use a specific breathing technique to create an orgasmic loop through your body and eventually surrender into a valley orgasmic state. This session also includes two guided communication & intimacy practices:
- Soul Gazing
- Alchemical Breath
This practice is grounded in a shared intention that you have as a couple, and then builds sensitivity and energetic awareness throughout the pelvic floor, preparing you for super-conscious lovemaking. This session also includes the following communication and intimacy practices:
- The Reveal
- Soul Gazing
Learn to use primal breathing to release, activate, and open a specific energy that you want to channel and work with (e.g. an archetype, an element, a quality). This session also includes 3 communication and intimacy practices:
- Eye Gazing
- Breathwork for Lovers
Working with chakras by bringing awareness to these areas of the body can help you connect with your energy body and the different flavors/qualities it can have. In this session, you'll use your sexual turn-on to activate a specific chakra, which can produce a shift in consciousness. In this session you will also be guided through:
- The Bubble
- Eye Gazing
In Sex Magic, sexual pleasure and turn-on are moved through each of the 7 chakras, with a shared intention to manifest a specific, vividly visualized desire. This practice will also introduce you to the following:
- Creating a shared 5-Senses Reality
- Agreeing on your Relationship North Star
"Deeply intimate lovemaking"
As a coach Michelle has a very clear and restful presence. This is the first time either of us had had couples coaching and we felt very at ease and supported. Michelle was incredibly professional and explained anything she guided us through in great detail.
After the sessions we felt more connected, and after one of the sessions we did around the 5 senses, we continued into deeply intimate lovemaking.
We believe Tantric practices are sacred and ancient, and as beginners Michelle made it lighthearted enough that we didn't feel intimidated, whilst remaining respectful of the core practices.
Jerry & Liam, Clients / UK
Working with Michelle on Tantric Sex & Sex Magic has drawn my husband and I closer to each other in a loving and affirming way. Her coaching has given him a safe space to explore the newness that is tantric sex in our intimate relationship.
Michelle was thoughtful, patient, and thorough in explaining each process and technique with us. Initially we were both excited, curious, and still uncertain about what to expect. Michelle eased our minds with her professionalism, tact, and incredible bedside manner. We were honestly always looking forward to the next session. She made us feel like her presence was a guiding hand in a topic that for us both with our past experiences, has always been taboo and even unheard of.
With her expert guidance, she helped us be more focused on our individual pleasures as well which was an unexpected treat.
I always thought tantric sex was mainly about the other partner but what is incredibly liberating is that you can find joy and pleasure, and NO shame in your own sacred soul and body.
If you’re looking for a more holistic and open approach in your overall relationship—I highly recommend and encourage Michelle’s transformative work in Tantric Sex and Sex Magic as a way into a deeper love and trust with your self, your partner, your body, spirit, mind and soul.
D.t., / usa
Tantra coaching with Michelle was so, so good! Michelle is wonderful. These practices are wonderful. My husband and I have a really loving marriage, and also, after 12 years together and two young kids, it was so helpful to get fresh tools and bring us closer. The communication, connection and erotic tools were so amazing to learn. So simple and yet so deeply meaningful.
Michelle was such a great teacher and space holder. There is a depth to these tools and being able to integrate what came up as we used them was so helpful.
In just a couple of weeks we found so many opportunities for rich, connected intimacy that we just wouldn't have noticed before. The time is there! Having practices to lean on opened up so much lasting depth and connection between us. Thank you, Michelle!
Liz Riley Cristiano / USA
"So simple and yet so deeply meaningful"
All of my coaching services are provided through online platforms (Zoom) exclusively.
No - I will guide you through a few tools and exercises that focus on compassionate communication and deepening intimacy which you will complete together during our session. However, when it comes to the lovemaking practices, I will simply walk you through them and make sure you understand how to do them, so you can move directly into the new sexual practice when I log off the call.
A big part of my job as your coach is to make sure that the container feels safe for both of you. If one of you gets triggered or upset during the session, we will take time to address what has come up and move through an integration process before moving on, so that neither of you are pushing yourselves into a practice when it does not feel right.
Absolutely! You do not need to be in a cis, straight, heteronormative couple to practice tantra. I prefer to use "yin" and "yang" energy, because these energies, often referred to as masculine and feminine sexual energies, reside in every human, and we all have the capacity to cultivate, experience, and play with both energies.
In situations like these, I will leave it up to you and your partners to decide which TWO of you will attend each coaching session, as the practice and tools are learned most effectively between two people at a time.
Yes! I will provide accountability to you during the week, send you with PDFs and audio guides to help you remember how to do these practices in between sessions and share any additional resources I have that can support you on your tantric journey together.
How has tantra changed your life?
Tantra has helped me connect so deeply with my lovers and myself. It turns something beautiful into something so deeply divine. Having full body experiences that send me into ecstatic or emotional states that make me feel truly satisfied after and feel connected to the universal consciousness and merge with my partner mind, body and soul in the way we all deeply (often unconsciously) crave.
Also on a physical level it has opened my up so so many types of orgasmic experiences beyond anything I could have images before going on this journey.
It's a deep meditation, a celebration, an art form! You can never really get bored when exploring tantra!
RISE From Religious Trauma
Tantric practices have helped me to connect with my pussy and my self in deeply nourishing, healing and blissful ways that have brought so much more pleasure into my days and helped me to shift deeper underlying blocks.
I have also experienced connection to universal consciousness in a way that transcends what I have felt or believed before and has been very healing to me as a survivor of religious trauma and a high control religion.
Coming into the Tantric space was daunting at first and I was worried, I won't lie, but now I love these mystical practices.
Certified Tantric Sex Coach. Michelle is trained in the Vital & Integrated Tantric approach to sex, love, & relationship coaching through the Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality, where she also received specialized training to coach couples in Tantric Sex.
Trauma Researcher. With a PTSD research team in Seattle, Michelle has co-authored 16 publications appearing in the American Journal of Medicine, Medical Care, the Journal of Clinical Psychology, the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, and the Journal of Traumatic Stress, as well as a chapter on Post-traumatic Stress Disorder in the 4th Edition of Integrative Medicine
Mindfulness Expert. Michelle spent a decade of her career in psychology research labs, exploring the benefits and mechanisms of change for therapies such as Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction and Dialectical Behavior Therapy on trauma and depression, which now inform her coaching practice.