Most women have NO IDEA how much confidence, pleasure, and presence they can experience in their bodies.
Instead, they are disconnected, self-critical, and numb. And this feels normal. It's what we're used to.
How did we get here and what can we do about it?? Learn the #1 reason why this happens, and 3 simple ways to start feeling more confidence, pleasure, and presence in my FREE training below
You've been lied to.
Where did you get your ideas of beauty from? Do you even know?
Society has warped your beliefs into thinking that if you don't live up to the unrealistic expectations of beauty that somehow you aren't beautiful.
Thanks to Photoshop, Instagram filters, and an array of other image-altering tools, women are bombarded by images of flawless skin, inhuman waistlines, and an ever-changing standard of perfection.
The thigh gaps, the six-pack abs, the long lean legs, the round bouncy breasts....
"If I don't look like those women...
how could anyone possibly find me sexy?"
But, the truth is, not even the airbrushed models look like the airbrushed models.
And even if they did, their particular beauty does not threaten or detract from yours in the slightest.
Yet how easy it is to forget this and judge ourselves.
Adding to the internal confusion, the behaviors that help you to thrive (taking care of your body, being healthy, exercising, and eating well) are all mixed up with fears of not looking good enough, rather than the pursuit of feeling your best.
And, while well-intended, the body-positive movement is also confusing. As much as we'd love to embrace the beauty of every body, it's not so easy to switch off these deeply internalized thought patterns.
As hard as you try to be positive and "love your body," it's not that easy. And then you feel worse about yourself for not living up to yet another unrealistic expectation.
Your body criticism is draining you of the pleasure and power you're worthy of. It's exhausting. You're probably tempted to just avoid thinking about your body altogether...
Enough is enough.
We need to talk about intimacy.
True intimacy. The deep connection kind. Your fear of being seen and hiding from your sexual partners is keeping you from feeling the deep connection you crave.
Your body judgment is holding you back from fully giving yourself to your partner.
Even though your partner reassures you all the time how attractive you are and that they love your body the way it is, your own lack of self-worth won't allow you to freely express yourself physically or emotionally.
The constant effort to hide physical and emotional parts of you during moments of intimacy makes sex into a stressful performance rather than relaxed, pleasurable connection.
You worry so much how they see you that you aren't able to feel their desire for you, just as you are, perfectly imperfect.
Deep down, you long to experience a truly deep and meaningful connection with your partner but your self-loathing keeps getting in the way.
And then the fear and insecurity creeps in.
Worry that they'll leave you because you're not giving yourself fully, or that they must be bored from giving you constant reassurance that you're enough.
Because no matter how often you hear it, you never really believe you are desirable enough.
You want so much more...
You long to expand your capacity to feel pleasure and presence both within yourself and with your partner
To be seen and appreciated for how deeply and spiritually connected to your body you are, for others to feel an irresistible pull toward you
Imagine experiencing deeply sensual, present, and electric pleasure run through your veins and light up your skin!
Feeling so good about yourself that you turn heads as you walk past strangers... your confidence, style, and electric magnetism being felt by everyone who comes into your presence
Experiencing more pleasure by being present to the sexual connection with your partner and celebrating the one-of-a-kind beauty that only you can bring to the world
Honoring yourself for your unique expression of womanhood, sexuality, and physical beauty
Being unapologetically you.
But you aren't convinced it's ACTUALLY possible for you.
Diets, expensive makeup, a new wardrobe... you've tried it all. Maybe you've even been to therapy.
Why therapy doesn't always work
Traditional therapies often focus on fixing your cognition -- it can provide you with the logical understanding that your beliefs and thought patterns aren't grounded in facts. For some people, this is enough. But for others, knowing that these thoughts aren't rational isn't enough to shake them.
That's because these thoughts and beliefs are buried deeper than logic and what's rational. They are sitting inside your body and need to get out.
The years of ancestrally and culturally inherited misogyny, sexual shame and objectification are deeply rooted in your psyche, sitting in your cells, embedded as memories in your mind, your muscles, your skin, your energy...
You need something deeper than thought -- something primal -- to feel access these wounds, release them, and achieve lasting transformation.
There's something missing.
At times, our self-loathing and shame can be like a gentle, ever-present whisper in the background of our minds, never letting us forget that we aren't good enough.
Other times, the weight of it is overwhelming, and it drags down our whole day, as we can't escape it to focus on anything else.
The cost of feeling this way is being disconnected from yourself, from your own life, and from others. It is modeling a habit of self-criticism to vulnerable souls around you. It is costing you the intimacy and human connection that we all crave because you won't surrender fully to the possibility that you can be seen and loved as you are.
You're hesitant to invest any more time, money, and energy into feeling better about yourself because you've tried to before and it hasn't gotten you the results you hoped for.
But how long can you go on feeling this way?
Why other methods haven't worked
The reason other therapeutic approaches haven't worked for you is because they pull focus away from your body, rather than showing you how to see and experience your body in a completely new way.
They treat the problem like it's all in your mind, and try to solve it through logic and reason, but ignore the ways that self-objectifying beliefs are held inside of you energetically and physiologically.
To heal your relationship with your body, you have to remember how to use the healing powers OF YOUR BODY, and I'm going to show you how.
private coaching PROGRAM
Body Love + Sexual Confidence
Tantric Queen is a 12-week private coaching program that draws from the energetic healing principles of tantra and neo-tantra, mindfulness research, and female sexuality to help you develop a relationship with your body that is pleasurable and empowering, so you can have the confidence and worthiness to create the love and sex life you dream about with the glorious body you already have.
You are a manifestation of the Divine, and you deserve to live in that Truth.
Drawing from the wisdom of Tantric tools and processes for energetic healing that speak to your primal and subconscious brain, I will light the path for you to experience the profound beauty, pleasure, and power of your body.
Through breath work, pleasure, and the continual alignment and integration of every living piece of your mind and body, you'll create a resilient foundation of love and connection to yourself that will empower you for a lifetime of thriving in sex, love, sisterhood, and beyond.
How Does Tantra Support Body Love?
Sexual objectification is the opposite of sexual liberation. Through the sexually liberating practices of tantra, you can learn to:
- Release the limiting beliefs that keep you stuck in a competitive mindset with others
- Restore the safety in your body necessary to relax into pleasure
- Transform ANY emotion into deeper self-compassion, liberation, and life force
- Enjoy your body from the inside, and stop worrying how it is perceived from the outside
- Stop "performing" sexuality for validation from others, and embrace what genuinely turns you on
- Free yourself from constant body monitoring, and surrender to your body's intuitive wisdom about what to eat, how to move, what to wear, etc.
Click below to learn more about the relationship between tantra and body image in my video, "The 6 Levels of Body Image Evolution"
How I set my clients up for success
What's included in your private coaching program
12 Private Coaching Sessions, 3 Phases
This intensive 12 week-program has been designed to provide sustainable transformation in a condensed amount of time. In weekly 60-minute sessions over Zoom, you'll be guided through a series of exercises and practices to help you confront and heal the beliefs and stories that keep you disconnected from your unique beauty, pleasure, and power. Your goals and desires will guide the direction of our sessions, but session topics will include some combination of the following:
Tools for Sustained Transformation
We live in a cultural environment rife with toxic beauty conditioning and sexual shaming. The best way to build sustainable resilience against triggers is to develop habitual "detoxing" practices that return you, over and over again, to the truth of who you are.
At the end of every session, I will provide you with a daily audio-guided practice for the week, specific to the fear, resistance, or desire that was uncovered in that session. By the end of the program, you will have a collection of powerful strategies, practices, and meditations to continue taking your body love and sexuality to deeper and higher places long after our work together has ended.
Let's be real -- those home practices are worthless if you don't actually do them. It is common to face resistance around this work, because your brain is addicted to the familiar way of thinking about yourself, even if it's painful. It will fight to keep you in well-worn emotional patterns, but that's why I'm here.
I'll provide the accountability you need to get the results you're here for. We'll figure out what you need (e.g. daily text, weekly email, a checklist), and you'll receive the support you need to stay on track.
Here's what you can expect
By committing to create a thriving relationship with your body, you are saying YES....
To more pleasure, presence, and joy during sex
To enhancing and enjoying your beauty without betraying your feminist ideals
To emotional mastery over your body shame triggers
To stronger friendships and sisterhood with other women
To expanding your capacity to move energy, pleasure, and orgasm through your body
To the confidence to be seen in your sexiness and turn up your unique sexual magnetism in ways that feel safe and authentically empowering to you
To clarity about what you really want in sex and love, and what truly stands in the way of you and your desires (hint: it's not your body)
To a deep sense of worthiness to have what you deeply desire
To experiencing more turn-on and power in your sexuality (and life in general!)
To mental, spiritual, and energetic freedom from the limiting beliefs that kept you in constant comparison with others' bodies and beauty, and gratitude for being you
To the ability to tap into your primal wildness and access the spiritual wisdom of your body
To lasting resilience to keep loving your body as it changes over time
About your coach,
Michelle Martinez, MPH
In addition to focusing on sexuality and spiritual growth as a key aspect of body image work, there are three key elements that set me apart from other coaches:
I am certified in the Vital and Integrated Tantric Approach to coaching, with specialized training in Female Sexuality. I believe that body image issues are healed by diving deeper into the truth of the body as a sacred aspect of our human identity, rather than trying to transcend or dismiss the body as a part of who you are. In other words, your body does matter. The key is to learn to value your body as an essential part of your own wisdom, sexual agency, power, and pleasure, rather than an object whose value is outsourced to the judgment and preferences of others.
My work is highly trauma-informed. With a PTSD research team in Seattle, I have co-authored 16 publications appearing in the American Journal of Medicine, Medical Care, the Journal of Clinical Psychology, the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, and the Journal of Traumatic Stress, as well as a chapter on Post-traumatic Stress Disorder in the 4th Edition of Integrative Medicine.
Supported by mindfulness-based therapies & research
I spent a decade in psychology research labs, exploring the benefits and mechanisms of change for therapies such as Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction and Dialectical Behavior Therapy on trauma and depression, which inform my coaching practice.
working with me
Michelle was coaching me during a pivotal time in my life, a time when I was ready to shift a lot of patterns that I had unwittingly been reenacting in my intimate relationships. Michelle focused mainly on my desires, and got me to recreate these experiences on a somatic level in my own body. It was so incredible to understand that these experiences are always within me and that I can recreate them at any time.
As we went through our coaching trajectory, we uncovered lots of sticky thought processes that were held together from years of societal conditioning and needing to seek external validation.
Building upon each session, we began to paint a new picture of what my sexual story could be, how to feel beautiful in my own body, and how to de-couple the need for validation through meeting traditional beauty standards. She also helped me breakthrough a piece that i had been working on for years...how to reconcile wanting to be in a polyamorous relationship while at the same time constantly comparing myself to other partners and other women.
Through her practices and coaching, she truly allowed me to feel confident and sexy in my own body, without the need to take away from the beauty of other women, or thinking that they have something I don't. Now I feel like I can move onto a new chapter of my life and step into this radiant new being that has new tools to shift out of old patterns, so that I can be in a loving, thriving relationship where I can be fully seen!
Michelle's coaching was a game changer for me and I am sooo thankful that I got to have this experience with her! She led me through so many practices that reminded me that being safe, feeling secure, being worthy are all within me. The things we unravelled are lifetimes of conditioning, and it doesn't just magically disappear in one session; having the guides as a tool I can always have to refer to sets me up to continue practices these on my own.
I was motivated to sign up for coaching because I wanted to explore who I am and what I want sexually. I felt ready to explore and uncover resistance. I didn't want my past stories to define me and I wanted to create more inner freedom to open up to deeper connection and more pleasure!
Michelle is skilled at creating a safe space and building a container to practice, play and explore feelings and physical sensation. Her thoughtful notes following our sessions helped me to refine my goals, and she was great about pinging me weekly to check in on my progress. She helped keep me motivated and remember my intention. Michelle supported me on the path to reclaim my desire.
I would recommend Michelle to to a friend seeking coaching. Michelle tailored the sessions to my specific needs both physically and energetically. She invites deep reflection and offered refinement to my approach to pleasure and relationship. While weaving in deep philosophic teachings and body awareness. Michelle's body and heart wisdom and masterful guidance have allowed me to expand my frame of reference around love, cultivate a deeper connection to my current partner, and to begin to break free from shame. Michelle's sessions are fun and creative and I always felt safe. I LOVED this coaching and looked forward to them each week!
Michelle is receptive and intuitive in how she works with me each week. She knows how to meet me where I am and is patient and loving with me as she guides me through her thoughtful and deep practices. Michelle's beautiful voice keeps me focused and feeling safe as I explore parts of myself that may feel triggering. Without pushing, she guides me through my triggers and I leave my sessions feeling relaxed and integrated. I am grateful to continue working with Michelle because I know these sessions will allow me to learn to love my body more and more!
I started working with Michelle 4 months after coming out of a 10 year relationship. My desire at the beginning of our coaching was to reconnect with the expansiveness of my heart space, bringing me deeper into my feminine essence and opening me up to receive and embrace true intimacy with a man.
In the week of our final session together, a man came into my world through a totally random series of events and he is everything that I desired in a partner (and so much more). Sex Magik is epic - it really does work.
Michael and I have been inseparable ever since. He often tells me that he is mesmerized and captivated by me and I know that this is largely to do with this powerful work...For the first time in my life, I have come into a relationship feeling whole as a person and that feels soooo good (and really healthy).
Michelle is an incredible coach and I cannot recommend her highly enough. Every session was personally curated based on what was alive for me in the moment, yet we also followed a clear path to move towards my desires. The home play sessions that Michelle set me each week were truly magical and enabled me to reconnect to my inner radiance and cultivate an inner ecology of self love and compassion.
Michelle holds you with love, whilst encouraging you to step outside of your comfort zone and take small steps (and sometimes huge leaps) towards your desires. She provides you with a safe space to fully express yourself and uncover the pieces of you that require nurturing. Thank you Michelle, you have been the catalyst for so much beautiful transformation in my world.
The idea that feeling dissatisfied with your body motivates you to behave in healthier ways is VERY common...and also a total myth. The truth is that we often engage in our most self-destructive behavior when we feel bad about ourselves. You cannot shame yourself into becoming a better version of yourself (that's not how shame works). When we feel love, compassion, and gratitude toward our bodies, we are FAR more likely to engage in behavior that is kind to our systems and helps us to thrive and keep feeling good! And in fact, cultivating an energy of love makes us inherently more radiant! Trust me on this: self-love can only make you more attractive.
YES, I love working with men! It is my firm belief that poor body image and body disconnection is a universal problem. The fact that it tends to be recognized primarily as a women's issue makes it even more difficult for men to feel comfortable seeking help to overcome these struggles, and I want to change that.
Currently, all my services are offered through online platforms exclusively.
In my experience with this methodology, 10 weeks tends to be the optimal amount of time for clients to see results and develop habits for sustainable continued progress. If you feel that you've achieved the results you were hoping for in fewer sessions, and you do not wish to continue, you do not have to use all ten sessions. However, you will not be refunded for the sessions you do not use. If you reach the 12th session and you are loving it and want to keep going, we can do that too! There is no maximum number of sessions you can have, but 12 is the minimum for this program.
A final note
This coaching program is a uniquely transformative process designed to help you return to the joy and pleasure you naturally experienced in your body before the world convinced you something was wrong with it. The practices and healing methods I'll show you have worked for me on a deeper level than anything else I've tried, because they required me to work through my limiting beliefs on a physiological and energetic level, not just mentally.
Do not resign yourself to the insecurities that leave you vulnerable to the opinions of others to dictate how you feel about your body. You have the power to change not just how you see your body, but how you experience it. And you can get there with more presence, pleasure, and empowerment than you ever thought possible.
But you must act now because once your time is gone, it's gone forever.
Fight the inner voice telling you you're not worthy, that you deserve to feel how you feel, and rise up to claim your confidence and your sexual power NOW.
And I said to my body, softly, "I want to be your friend." It took a long breath and replied, "I've been waiting my whole life for this."